We Always Have a Choice

Noun: An act of selecting something when faced with two or more possibilities.

Adjective: Something of high quality or excellence

We always have a choice because everything that occurs is either because of a choice we’ve made or a choice that’s been made for us. If the choice was made for us or something happened that we had no control over, we then make a choice on how to respond and deal. This is true and there isn’t any way around it unless someone is mentally incapable due to a medical condition.

I’ve made so many bad, unhealthy choices ranging from relationships to the food I eat, and the lack of portion control. But the way I handled conflict most of my life was almost always through a poor choice. I am naturally combative and argumentative and I’m convinced it’s due to my upbringing and genetics. I wasn’t necessarily mean or vindictive for GP (general purpose) rather, I’m a fighter for what’s right and fair. I exposed this even in small things that didn’t require fighting.

As I grew older and more aware of myself, I began to make changes. Unfortunately I developed a fight or flight method of dealing with conflict and sometimes I would still fight but more often I would fly, fly far away. Leaving relationships at the first sign of distress. Walking away from commitments if it seemed like there could be any unnecessary hard work.

Cancelling out anything that could cause me pain, worry, or take my time from my “perfect” life I was creating.

About 15 years ago I had a cute Mary Engelbreit desk calendar and the only image/quote that I remember from it is this: “If you don’t like something change it, if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.” One of the greats, Maya Angelou is known for this statement as well.   It stuck with me hard. So hard that I took it to the extreme, however, since then I’ve gradually developed a system in my mind to deal with making a choice or reacting to a choice made for me.

My Next post will describe this process and give an example so you can start making better choices too, more importantly rationally reacting to what happens to you.

 

Xoxo & blessings