As my daughter approaches this next phase in life, we are both struggling to let go and begin. I’ve fought to change the ways I handle stress and impose control. Yet, still, this week I abandoned all of my insight and caved to the devils schemes. I pressured and pushed until my girl broke; “What do you want to do”, “Don’t take the easy way out”, “Why aren’t you answering me”, “Which college will you go to”. Then I pulled out all the stops and in the back of my mind thought:
“Do you know how hard I worked to pave the way for you and all that I did? Worked full time, stood duty, worked out consistently, paid bills, cleaned the house, grocery shopped, provided for us very well, spent most of my free time caring for you, taking you to practice, driving you to and from, loving you with my whole heart”
…… blah blah blah is probably all she heard and she just couldn’t handle the pressure. The pressure that also seemed to be personal attacks on her fragile pursuit of creating and reaching goals.
What I should have done –
After a sad, long night, I had an epiphany as I humbly submitted my strife. I can’t stand a single minute of contention between us. I had to ask myself, is the world ending? Is all of this so critical it would cause her to crumble and recoil? NO! She has options, unlike I did. Why am I trying to play God when He is in control? And I know she must live out life a little on her own, with my guidance of course. At this point, I definitely don’t look like the sweet and patient woman in the catalog with her khaki pants, casual button up collared shirt and a permanent smile. I was more like Jack Nicholson from the “Shining” <WATCH THIS CLIP
This morning’s devotion led me to the following truth
Leading her to God’s word rather than a state of anxiousness is what He desires.
Threatening to take away car keys and cell phones is irrelevant to the concerns I have. Thank God for the verse below. It says to me; Be an example, stay relevant, focus on the task at hand, by the way it has nothing to do with cars and phones. It’s all about making tough decisions, working hard, and committing to a reasonable plan that will ultimately be the foundation of her life.
When she needs direction and guidance, give my precious girl truth to mediate on. This would be a great scripture for her to turn into a prayer. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. Psalm 143:8
My prayer: I pray to encourage her rather than discourage, to love instead of hurt, and to penetrate her mind and curiosity with truth and discipline rather than pressure and control. Amen
Ah! I love you both so much! Life is so hard and decision are scary! I react out of fear for them all the time. I totally get this!! And yet, I remember vividly being that age. I made a lot of mistakes, but my parents also raised a fighter and a girl who continues to land on her feet. Trust in that for Madison too. Sending you both love!!!!! Xoxoxox
Thank you for this reminder. Yes, I raised her to be strong and independent and aware. I suppose it’s time to watch her be that… xoxo
I just love this! Thank you for being REAL! We as mothers are NOT perfect and sometimes crumble. In those moments I need to be reminded to get on my knees and pray for strength and guidance rather than try and make the kids feel small due to my anger. Thanks again for this BLOG, it’s like you are in my head reading my thoughts, OR you have a camera in my house..haha
xoxo
I adore your realness too friend. And I don’t have a camera LOL, but I do have insight. xoxo
Absolutely beautiful. I wish that at the time my son was starting out that I had my faith in God. It was hard and I know I have made lots of mistakes because I forced him to do what I wanted him to do instead of listening to him. Like you said our children have options that we never had growing up. The best thing that we can do is guide them the best way possible and hope that they will learn and listen. Maybe if I did not allow my ego to speak for me, my son would have been in a better place than he is today. He has a cheese some success but it has been on his own terms. As a parent I had to learn to let go and let God.