As my daughter approaches this next phase in life, we are both struggling to let go and begin. I’ve fought to change the ways I handle stress and impose control. Yet, still, this week I abandoned all of my insight and caved to the devils schemes. I pressured and pushed until my girl broke; “What do you want to do”, “Don’t take the easy way out”, “Why aren’t you answering me”, “Which college will you go to”. Then I pulled out all the stops and in the back of my mind thought:
“Do you know how hard I worked to pave the way for you and all that I did? Worked full time, stood duty, worked out consistently, paid bills, cleaned the house, grocery shopped, provided for us very well, spent most of my free time caring for you, taking you to practice, driving you to and from, loving you with my whole heart”
…… blah blah blah is probably all she heard and she just couldn’t handle the pressure. The pressure that also seemed to be personal attacks on her fragile pursuit of creating and reaching goals.
What I should have done –
After a sad, long night, I had an epiphany as I humbly submitted my strife. I can’t stand a single minute of contention between us. I had to ask myself, is the world ending? Is all of this so critical it would cause her to crumble and recoil? NO! She has options, unlike I did. Why am I trying to play God when He is in control? And I know she must live out life a little on her own, with my guidance of course. At this point, I definitely don’t look like the sweet and patient woman in the catalog with her khaki pants, casual button up collared shirt and a permanent smile. I was more like Jack Nicholson from the “Shining” <WATCH THIS CLIP
This morning’s devotion led me to the following truth
Leading her to God’s word rather than a state of anxiousness is what He desires.
Threatening to take away car keys and cell phones is irrelevant to the concerns I have. Thank God for the verse below. It says to me; Be an example, stay relevant, focus on the task at hand, by the way it has nothing to do with cars and phones. It’s all about making tough decisions, working hard, and committing to a reasonable plan that will ultimately be the foundation of her life.
When she needs direction and guidance, give my precious girl truth to mediate on. This would be a great scripture for her to turn into a prayer. Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life. Psalm 143:8
My prayer: I pray to encourage her rather than discourage, to love instead of hurt, and to penetrate her mind and curiosity with truth and discipline rather than pressure and control. Amen