My Dearest Madison Leigh,
If my heart had vocal cords, you would make them sing. It would be a triumphant sound because even though you came from my womb, I’m the one who was given life. I remember when I carried you in my tummy. I spent too many nights laying, wondering how it was possible to have a child that I didn’t deserve. Fear would rise; would a thumb or toe be missing? How could I, little old me, have a perfect babe from above. But my darling girl, my fears drifted away when you came, you are perfect in my eyes.
Even though I was young, scared, and didn’t know much, I have always been so blessed by you.
The first time you reached for me indicating you knew who I was and that I made you happy. I cried. I remember the night of your first birthday how you made yourself, and me, laugh as you balanced your chubby little body on your rocking horse then rocked as fast as you could.
Or the cold, December Friday afternoon, I got off work early, excitedly picking you up from day care. We’d rush home to our tiny little house on the Great Lakes Naval base, crank up the heat, and snuggle in bed until we woke up sweaty just in time for dinner. Your hair in my face warmed me more than that old thermostat ever could.
Or the time I cried for hours the first time I left you with your Dad. It was the summer we moved away. I had the hardest time being away so I bought a ticket to fly back and see you. Thankfully he agreed for me to have a weekend to visit during his visitation period.
I remember the last time I could physically pick you up and you wrapped your long tan legs around my waist. I said, “honey, you’re getting too big for this” well, you didn’t care and jumped up anyway.
“Mom, I always want to live by you, I’ll never leave you.” At age 10 you made this sweet verbal pledge. I asked you, “what if you marry a man and his job requires you to transfer?” Your reply was, “I’ll tell him before I marry him that I’ll never agree to do that.” You’re adorable.
Then braces came and went, more birthday parties, and more days and nights. Today my angel, I cry and cry as I write this still in awe of the blessing you’ve been. You are evidence of God’s mercy on me. When I thought I wasn’t good enough for anything, He said I was. He started showing me by giving you to me.
Where Life Takes You-
Where life takes you and who it’s with, only Jesus knows. Precious girl, one thing I do know is that I’ll always be behind you; catching you when you fall, holding you when you cry, and kissing you as much as I can. Forever! This song comes to mind when I think of the ending to this chapter of our life (In My Daughters Eyes – https://youtu.be/YYxbdP-bHIg). Losing my mom at an early age has caused me to be strong. I intentionally taught you to be strong too – ALWAYS and know that even when I’m gone, your eyes will hold the reflection of me.
Go on my baby girl, conquer it, live and breathe your destiny, be who you are meant to be and know that I’m in your shadow for now and always.