I Found Out My Roots with Ancestry DNA

Don’t throw stones at me
Don’t tell anybody
Trouble finds me
All the noise of this
Has made me lose my belief

I’m going back to my roots
Another day, another door
Another high, another low
Rock bottom, rock bottom, rock bottom
I’m going back to my roots
Another day, another door
Another high, another low
Rock bottom, rock bottom, rock bottom
I’m going back to my roots

Had to lose my way
To know which road to take
Trouble found me
All I look forward
Washed away by a wave – Imagine Dragons “Roots”

 

Do you ever wonder where you’re from? What your heritage is?  Why you look the way you do?

These are questions I didn’t ask myself too often and the reason why is quite sad.  I was ashamed of my roots and didn’t want anything to do with them.  I wanted to dig them up, throw them in the waste field and plant new ones- too many relatives and ancestors with alcoholism, depression, drug addiction, anger and more.

I associated my roots to poor white trash and the inability to succeed if I allowed myself any connection with this sort of foundation. I wanted to run far away pretending I was a new creature, detached from my past. Even though my spirit was made new through coming to know and love God, the truth is, I had roots and ignoring them only created a false idea that I had no relation.

There have been recent events that led me to start digging-

A doctor told me he was convinced I had an ethnic background, probably from Spain. I’m like, “ que????”   Then my sister received her DNA results from Ancestry.com and since we have different fathers, I knew there was more to learn about me. Additionally, I’m working on healing, self worth, self-love, and no doubt, understanding my identity is part of that. No matter how hard I tried to pretend I had no roots, I finally believe that not only do they exist, but also, they can’t possibly be ALL rotten.  So, here is how I’ve started this course of healing….

• I just sent off my DNA kit
• I called a therapist to schedule a session. I probably need some counseling after my childhood, choices, divorce, mothers murder, and the load I’ve carried these last 41 years, don’t ya think?
• I’m finally talking about it

If you feel at all like I’ve felt most of my life then I want you to stop running and know this: You are not held to the chains of your past but it does exist. Maybe its time to open up the doors to our soul ever so slightly and feel the emotion we’ve been trying to bury.

This is how I expect to be during this journey>>>>>> Cheers to crying, laughing, or laughing and crying at the same time!!!