To all the stay at home moms (SAHM), I use to envy you but now I envy the high heels that use to move mountains. I spent all of my adult life working. All I knew was work. All I knew was to juggle the demands of work and home life. I worked at various commands in different career fields and always, always there was at least one man who had a wife that was a stay at home mom (SAHM) and here is what I thought:
What I thought about the SAHM:
- She’s lucky
- She’s lazy
- Must be nice
- How boring
- I could never do that
- What if something happened to her husband, what would she do to support herself
- How great that he gets to only focus on work because his wife does EVERYTHING else
- She is so smart, why didn’t I think of that
- I would never give up my career
- She has the most amazing life; yoga, dinner in the crockpot, cleaning to joyful music, and a happy, happy home
Are you dying yet? I am! In reality, here is what she’s thinking:
The Truth about the SAHM:
- I am so lonely
- This sucks
- I miss looking pretty
- I love wearing yoga pants all day
- Please don’t wake up, I just want to drink one cup of coffee first
- I love my life
- Sweeping and mopping, why did I go to college?
- I’m so lucky to be at home with her
- Why is he working so late? (it’s only 5:30)
- Daddy finger, daddy finger, where are you (mom’s can you relate?)
- If she say’s mommy one more time
- Why am I crying
- I have to go back to work and put my education to use
- I don’t want to go back to work
- I need joy
- I need coffee and wine and more coffee
- Okay, I have everything I need
The Shit is Hard No Matter Where the Mom Works, however…
The mind shifts from time to time. It was one of the hardest transitions of my life leaving the workforce to stay at home with my sweet girl. And, let’s be honest, they’re never ALWAYS sweet. The day’s are so, so long. I’d be crazy to nap when she did because that is my only time to ummm, shower? Or- watch a show, take a break, or how about those chores?!
What a Complainer
Some of you may be reading this thinking, “what a complainer” and the truth is yes, I’ve done plenty of that. As a matter of fact, I’m quite sure I dealt with depression at a serious level. Learning who I was, learning who this little girl was, and learning to be a wife all over again just didn’t come easy.
Now she is four and in pre-school and I can’t help but to wonder…
Why on earth was working full time, standing duty, maintaining an awesome workout regimen, and handling ALL the home responsibilities on top of raising my daughter… oh and, attending college part time easier than THIS?
In conclusion
I think staying at home with my babe is much more difficult than working. Hands down! But the reward is very personal. At first it feels like empty and thankless servitude than God reminds us that such a time is this.
*Moms’, you’re doing a great job. You are the most important person to that child, and you are right where you’re suppose to be, wherever that is.
Mindy- you nailed this topic, it is true what you said about what ‘we’ (female Sailors) thought about the stay at home military Moms, yes we do all think that at some point. I for one am very grateful that my Mom was a stay at home Mom, and realize now how lucky I was, since it is now rare for a Mom to stay at home. I’m happy you are able to live both lives, and share your experiences about each. You are amazing, and doing big things! Love ya! JZ
Jessica, for some reason, hearing from you that day made my day. Thanks for sharing that about your mom and how much you appreciated it. love you too!!
While I’ve never truly considered being a stay at home mom some of ur initial thoughts have crossed my mind as well. I find my mind racing often about my personal direction, how to be the best mom I can be, goals to best support my family…health and fitness. I’m generally exhausted just processing things in my mind. I look forward to the day I clearly hear God’s direction. Keep this in your prayers! 🙂
CJ, you do such a fantastic job balancing life. You some how meet everyone’s need and still take care of yourself. I know you’re doing great and when God tugs on your heart toward a different direction, I know you will listen. Love you to the stars
Love this blog! I say everyday that I can’t wait to be a stay at home mom, but truth is, I’ve been home for 30 days now and today was the first day I allowed my babies to stay home with me. WOW! I’m home due to a surgery but they are everywhere at 2 and 3 years old. Maybe I should rephrase myself and say I can’t wait to be a stay at home mom as long as daycare is available hahah. love you sweets
Mindy, as you know I have worked in childcare for many years and I see the results of kids raised in daycare. I understand in today’s world both parents must work to make ends meet in most cases but I can tell you that whenever possible if one parent can be home with the kids it is the greatest gift you can give them. Being with kids all day can be trying so never feel guilty about taking a day for yourself it will keep you sane! You are doing a great job and I am so proud of you!
Aunt Connie, thank you for reassuring me. I need to create a schedule for our day’s and make the time to regroup like you said so I can get back to her with a healthy mind. I love you