You Are My Intention

My connections and writing have been paralyzed. I’ve been self-protecting believing, if I don’t expose myself to critics they will have no ammunition or insight into my heart. But I’m undressing now and exposing a bit of what I’ve been experiencing SO THAT… we can get to the heart of the matter and that is YOU AND ME.

I had to learn that I can practice yoga and Jesus loves me (I think Jesus and Gandhi would’ve been great friends).  I can curse and pray.  I can advocate for, rather than “accept” people whose sexual orientation is different than mine.  I listen to Cardi B and really enjoy the deep southern sounds of Chris Stapleton’s, Tennessee Whiskey.  I can fill my home with traditional décor pieces and buy mid-century pieces.  Basically I can do anything I want because I finally realized that there is no official rule book for my life.  I am learning that my spirit and life has limitless depth and creativity and any organization that suffocates my potential and purpose isn’t whom I want to belong to.  

So, now that I’m finally discovering myself and freedom, it’s time to be very clear and intentional in my decisions and pursuit.

This blog was created with passion, yet little direction but I would soon realize it would be foundational in achieving my ultimate goal.  I imagined reaching thousands of women.  In reality I had less than 200 subscribers, most of which were friends that signed up because they love me or at leastlike me.  It was an easy favor.  And let me tell you how grateful I am for all of you.  

I was once told you need at least 10,000 followers for a publisher to even touch you. 10,000?  Holy shit, do I need to sell my soul to the devil to get that? NO, I just need to talk about pretty things, look pretty, and talk pretty.  No wait, I need to be different, stand out, be myself.  Wait, no that’s not it.  How about blog about DIY, fashion, interior design, or food.  Yes, that’s it!  One of these top 4 topics will be sure to yield tons of subscribers. After multiple jobs and too many hours spent on things that didn’t move me. I’m clear.

All of this was bullshit. If I could go back, I would’ve taken more time to learn and grow in what I loved rather than listen to what every non-professional suggested I do.  You connect with me, not for a fairly good cocktail recipe, but for the deep connection you may not be receiving elsewhere.  Perhaps you find solace in the fact that someone is speaking your language and you can sigh with relief that someone gets ,you.  

After a long break of self-protection and the pursuit of privacy, I am clear on something.  Screw the rule book and the naysayers. I want you to know your messages and emails are gold to me.  I’ve spent some time examining my intentions and YOU are one of my intentions.  This space is intended to hold my truth and yours.