The first time I heard about Jesus was at a Billy Graham Convention in Anchorage, Alaska. I was little… maybe 6, maybe younger. I’m not certain but what I am certain about is that I remember thinking Jesus must be horrible and this man on stage was too.
My Uncle had good intentions when he lovingly coerced my mom to go. He believed it would encourage her to become sober and live more responsibly. That Billy Graham would change her life. I didn’t live with her, I was only visiting that weekend and I’m still not sure where she went the night before but begrudged and hung-over, she went to this convention and I tagged along too. I could smell lingering remnants of her cheap perfume on her rabbit fur coat and thinking back, she was still in her clothes from the night before. It’s quite possible she never went to sleep prior to going.
I felt nervous and scared as we entered a huge arena filled with so many people and chaos. My mom held my hand tightly as we rushed through the crowd to find our seats. Not tightly as in she was concerned for my safety but tight as in,
-I am SO scared to be here, I DON’T belong here, please HELP me little one even though I know you can’t-
The main events of that day are wrapped up in three words: shouting, crying, and leaving. I was too young to understand he was preaching not yelling at my mom specifically and it seemed she cried tears of shame which broke my young, so very tender heart. The next thing I remember is leaving. That’s it…. That’s the story!
It sounds unfinished doesn’t it? Well it was.
But… many years later, God finished the story. He finished it by: 1) reminding me of that sad time and 2) Clarifying what had happened. Once I got to know the very nature of Jesus and identified whom Billy Graham was I suddenly understood. My sweet mom was overtaken by the enemy who came in many forms such as alcohol, depression, drugs, regret, and abandonment. She felt condemned rather than convicted. Billy Graham was a phenomenal evangelist and was capable of influencing people to change, but my sweet mom just wasn’t ready.
Even in Mom’s later years, she probably would’ve never attended another event like that but she didn’t need to go to church to have a good heart. That already existed. And, shortly before she died we talked about faith and she convinced me it was well within her soul.
Mindy,
This blog is off to a great start!
Many blessings!
Laura
Thank you Ms. Laura! I pray it’s a platform for lives to be changed, the misconception of Jesus and being saved is revealed, and hearts yield to the one and only God, our Savior, Jesus Christ. xoxoxo
The story was told in a way that had me feeling as if I was right there!!! My favorite part was the end…”she did, however, confess her belief in Jesus”!
Cj, thank you for reading and caring. You know my love for my Mom was indescribable and I miss her so very much.
You and I are like sisters from another mother!! We have a lot in common!! ??
Debi! Really? I can’t wait to learn more about you:) Thank you so much for reading and subscribing. We will continue to get to know eachother more. xoxo
Enjoy reading your blog, Mindy. Keep it up.
Connie, I’m so happy to hear this! I just love you and your entire family and sharing my life with you all is an honor.
Beautifully written and I could feel the pain of not just your mom, I felt yours too. Praise God that he loves, redeems and holds our hand tightly letting us know of his presence.
Peg, I don’t know where I’d be if I didn’t have his redemption. And the fact God gave my mom and i a specific conversation about Jesus just a month before she left us is incredible. I asked her if she truly believed Jesus really came to this earth, is our Savior and is the Son of God and she said yes. Praise over praise!
That was crazy good..
Dan you’re the man! Thank you so much for reading!
Hi Min,
I just read this and I love it. Keep it coming you are an inspiration. Love you!
Thank you honey. Especially for your support!
I”m sorry you had to go through this, but thank you for sharing.
I really enjoy reading our blog everyday Mindy keep it up. I look forward to it. Love you girl.
That insight is incredibly valuable. No one wants to see a loved one upset but she was no doubt reacting to his message. Condemnation comes too easily. I’m so glad God eventually got ahold of her heart!
This brought tears to my eyes. I could see the two of you as she held your hand tightly just as I saw her with Elisa many times. Such brave & beautiful angels she was blessed to love, a love that gave her the strength to get through each day! Forever in our hearts.
So happy for you & your amazing new journey!
Xoxoxo
My Dear Lori,
You are so special, so sweet, and so revenant. Thank you for your love and memories of my Mom.